I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize