I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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