Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
where does the pee come out of this thing
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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