There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
