Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
