In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
God, I missed his penis.
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