Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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