At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
