Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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