My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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