Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I want her autograph on my taint
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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