she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
