i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
