go do what you do best...puke behind churches
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
