why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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