Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize