It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
