I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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