So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
