god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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