He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
