Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
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You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
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