absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
