so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
zippers are such a cool invention
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
