So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
