She said her name was "party"
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
