Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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