just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
