maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize