I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
So. Much. Porn.
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