i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
