Already got asked if we're dating
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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