I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize