This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
