I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
