I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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