Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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