I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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