she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
