I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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