we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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