Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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