so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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