haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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