i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
