I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
there was a trapeze. enough said
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
