i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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