Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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