My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
