i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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