At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
