The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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