i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
