i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
