If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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