I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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