I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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