The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
