maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
