someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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