neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
