Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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