HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
