I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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