No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
