If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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